[The Tens] The 10 Hideous Faces Of Chris Bosh

It’s no secret that Chris Bosh is one ugly sonofab*tch. But the fact that he makes certain faces to enhance his ugliness is beyond us. The certified king of ugly, Sam Cassell, is probably sitting around somewhere mumbling to himself “how can one man be so ugly.” And just think, Bosh is only 28, which means there’s going to be more ugly to come. Smashing him in the face with a frying pan might help, but who wants to get that close to him? Procreation should be illegal. Anyways, get your Maalox cocktail ready as we run down the ten vomit inducing faces of Christopher Wesson Bosh.

The “Ugly Oop” Face

Seriously, who calls for an alley oop like this? The fact that he communicated it was even more scary.

The “I’ll Velaciraptor Your Ass” Face

Intimidation or laughter. You decide.

The “Gobbledy Gook” Face

The face only a mother could love to hate.

The “Godzilla” Face

The Japanese are already considering casting Bosh for “Velocilraptor Vs. Godzilla” movie this fall.

The “Bootleg Avatar” Face

James Cameron is still kicking himself for missing out on this one. No special effects needed!

The Cum Champagne All Over My Face, Face

Yes, you won an NBA Championship. But did you really have to reenact gay porn? *cue swanky porn music*

The “E.T. Phone Home” Face

We bet his finger glows at night too.

The “Your Face Looks Tasty” Face

Not the best time to criticize his performance. He hasn’t eaten for a week and you are looking delightful right about now.

The “Raptor Down…Roll The Credits” Face

This was a cutting room floor scene from Jurassic Park 4. Jeff Goldblum punched Bosh in the face while running through a gym. He said “it was just too real.”

The “N*gga This IS My Smile” Face

They told him to smile 17 times before the photographer just said “f*ck it” and snapped the photo.