[Interview] Sex Week: Belladonna - Life, Love and Sex (Pt 1)
TWV: Who did you feel more ‘used and abused’ by: Sawyer and the ABC Network or the men in the blurred-out gang bang clip they aired on the show?
Bella: You know, I didn’t feel used and abused by the guys in the gangbang – I felt used and abused by myself, and by my agent, and by the owner of the production company. For months I told them ‘no’. For months I stuck up for myself and wouldn’t be pressured into something I didn’t really want to do. And…my agent didn’t really care about my well-being. And the owner didn’t really care about my well-being. And in the end, I felt I let that happen. I allowed that to happen. So I didn’t feel used and abused by {the men in the film} I felt used and abused by myself.
TWV: When women are being treated in such a violent manner, it can seem like a glorification of rape – Would you agree? I mean, we aren’t talking about light hair-pulling or a couple smacks on the ass – you’ve filmed scenes in which you’re pretty literally being beaten…
Bella: I don’t feel like I’ve been beaten. It doesn’t physically feel that way to me. If the person who is watching is uncomfortable then they are not into that kind of thing and so they can’t understand what it would be like to get pleasure from that. Because they themselves can’t imagine it being pleasurable. It’s no different than scarification or even tattoos or piercings. And I do believe a lot of women have rape fantasies, and I don’t see anything wrong with that. I really enjoy that. Not some random guys. It’s a fantasy. You’re putting trust into some one. In reality wouldn’t it sound good to set up this really realistic thing and know it was just role playing? That’s great.
TWV: So what you mean isn’t an actual ‘rape’ fantasy, but rather the desire to be physically overpowered by someone you trust, yes?
Bella: Exactly. That’s exactly what I meant, yes.
TWV: In your experience as both an actress and a director – when those more violent scenes are being shot, have you ever felt like things got out of control?
Bella: I’ve been in the industry for 12 years only felt like that maybe once. It was {scene 2} of my movie called Slut. {The actress} was being choked in a collar in a way that was not controlled and it was pinching her. We all knew each other, but there was a certain point where I was a little unsure like wait, is she okay with this? and I really wondered if maybe we should have talked about it more. Even though, we did talk about it before hand.
At some point in the scene she broke down and started crying and saying “Stop, stop, stop” and so we stopped and talked about it a little bit. Then we went back to doing the scene. It wasn’t that what they were doing in the scene wasn’t okay – but I wanted to make sure she was okay and not hurt, and that she could walk away feeling good about it.
TWV: Do you think a lot of directors would have had that same reaction—to stop, and make sure she was okay?
Bella: I don’t know – I don’t know other directors well enough. But from my experiences as an actress, during my own time as a performer: yes, there were people who did care, but the majority of people at the end of the day didn’t care about me. I don’t think they intentionally said “I don’t care about this girl” but they don’t put themselves in that position. They’ve probably never been in that position so they don’t even think about it.
TWV: When I told some of my friend’s I’d be interviewing you, the first response from most of them was “You have to ask about ‘the bat scene’”
{Author’s note: the scene in question is from the 2002 adult film, No Limits 1, in which Belladonna inserts several inches of a baseball bat into her anus}
Bella:{laughs}
To Be Continued in part two (CLICK HERE)
