Fox News More Concerned About Lindsay Lohan Sagging Breasts Than Actual News

In lieu of 24-year old Lindsay Lohan’s latest prison term set to begin next month, Faux Fox News felt it fitting to run a story on her breasts.

That’s right; not substance abuse; seemingly the core of Lohan’s problems with the law. Not the history of troubled child stars and how Lindsay fits into the spectrum. Not the ramifications of her potentially serving only a few weeks of her sentence and then being released to house arrest. Or, even how judges have been lenient with her although she continues to break the law and violate the terms of her punishment.

Her breasts, and her lack of support for them.

According to Fox, going braless is affecting Lohan’s career, and as all she has to offer now is her body for the purpose of nude photos, she’d better start taking better care of it. They’ve even called in “experts,” to offer opinions on next steps, including a bra with an underwire, and a cosmetic lift.

“I don’t care how perky they are, they won’t be for long,” owner of Linda’s Bra Salon in New York City Linda Becker told Fox News. “They all get saggy when the tissues under the breasts break and Lindsay is going to end up looking like a WaTuTu warrior.”

Really?

Jennifer Walden, plastic surgeon told Fox411 that when not wearing a bra “The distance between the nipple and the crease below the breast becomes longer and stretched looking rather unnatural.”

When you consider those hard facts, you still can’t help wondering: why the &*!?# is this news? Why is Jo Piazza pondering over whether this young woman wears a bra or not, and why on earth would anyone else care?

The absurdity of what the folks at Fox deem newsworthy has become the real story, not Lindsay’s breasts.