Attn: Black Women! Why are you so focused on dating a BLACK MAN?
By: Kourtney Richard
Disclaimer: My opinion does not reflect all black women. If you are offended by this article, feel free to exit at anytime. Also, leave a comment….I would love to hear what you have to say. Explicit language below.
Listen up black women! Did you know that Caucasian, Latin and Asian men are genuinely attracted to you? In fact, some are infatuated with black women. We are just too preoccupied with finding a “black man” to notice. I recently had the pleasure of interviewing a successful 28-year old black male and he stated, “Its a comfort-factor for black women, they prefer what their used to and in some cases black women are scared of change.”
It’s obvious that black men have officially moved on to other races. Go sit at a local Starbucks for two hours and I guarantee you will see a black man with a non-black woman within those two hours. Black men have learned how to explore other races because A). They do not want to limit themselves to dating ONLY black women due to personal reasons or B.) They fell in love with someone who just happens to be of another race or C.) Society convinced them about the stereotypical black woman (too ghetto, too much attitude, etc) so they choose not to deal with us.
Either way it goes, black men do not feel guilty about dating a non-black woman. In some cases, some black men feel “honored” to be with a non-black woman, it’s like “GOLD” to them. I have a sexy and educated black male friend who recently told me “white girls are the best because they’re easier to deal with, I would never date a black girl again .” After slapping the shit out of him and calling him a “sell-out and Uncle Tom” I realized, that he has a “preference” and I couldn’t get mad. Why was I mad in the first place? I’m a big advocate for interracial dating, but just don’t talk down on the sisters! I don’t have to tan, I have a natural brown tone. I don’t have to get booty injections, I was born with a donk. I don’t have to get botox- black don’t crack biatch! Okay okay, I had to get that out…sorry. Back to the article….
Personally, I feel that black women have put so much energy and time in finding a “good black man” that we forgot about the rest of the world.
Reasons Why a Black Woman Should Date Outside Their Race :
1. It’s something different and you will learn certain things about yourself that you never knew. You both come from two different backgrounds, so you’re constantly learning something new and it will take you out of your “comfort zone.” You may date an Italian man who loves to mountain climb, attend wine tastings, and addicted to reading autobiographies at Barnes and Noble. These are things may not interest you at first, but how do you know if you hate it until you’ve tried it. The key is accepting someone for who they are. Remember, you can’t change the average white guy to “Eminem or Paul Wall” because you like hip-hop. If it is true love, a connection will grow and you both will be able to relate to each other. The thought of dating a non-black guy will eventually fade and it will no longer matter how they look on the outside.
2. A non-black guy would most likely put up with your “shit” more than a black guy. Come on ladies, you know exactly what I mean by this. We get mad when our hair is wet from the rain; we are quick to roll our neck and eyes if someone tries to step to us. Hell, we get an attitude for no reason sometimes. A non-black guy CANNOT relate to our frustration(s) because he doesn’t understand BUT…most of them will be there to listen and help you to think more positively (his mind-set is different, so he could influence you in a good way). Also, in some cases, non-black men find our sassiness sexy. Most black men hate it.
3. You will notice that the love between you and a non-black guy is RAW, which is the best type of love to have. You are no longer worried about the outer appearance any more, but instead you are falling for him and who he is. Race will not matter because you have “real love” keeping you guys together. Note: I’m not saying you can’t find raw love with a black man.
4. Let’s be real, focusing on finding a black man is stressful. We have to go through so much to find that “one black guy” who’s going to blow our mind away. Yes, they are hard to find. I know a beautiful 48-year old woman who is still searching because she didn’t want to settle. Only thing is, she is only interested in a black man with no kids. (Good luck with that girl!) If she just opened her eyes to other races, she may find a decent man her age with no kids. It also depends on where you’re located geographically. If you live in Miami, it’s probably really hard to find a decent black man but if you’re in Chicago, you may have more options.
So inquiring minds would like to know, HOW CAN YOU GET A NON-BLACK MAN TO NOTICE YOU?? Unfortunately, black women have to make the first move. I know, I know…you’re not used to that, right? Let me break it down for you. There is a 25 % chance that a non-black man will boldly walk up to you and spark up a conversation. It’s not that they don’t have the confidence, but they automatically assume that you are not interested. Also, we tend to always have a “certain look” on our faces. You know….that “fuck off” type of look, so it makes it hard for someone to feel invited. Try this, next time you’re in a public place focus your attention ONLY on non-black men and count how many looks and stares you get. We never notice this because your preference is on that fine black guy in Nordstrom’s purchasing some Ferragamos while his non-black girlfriend is in the dressing room. If we opened our eyes for one moment and shifted our attention to a broader racial demographic we may just find our happiness.
When or if you find someone of a different background, give them “you” first, then the “black woman” second. Show them who you are initially. Remember, you have nothing to prove to them so be yourself. They KNOW that they are dating a black woman-there is no reason to remind them over and over.
Most closed-minded black women are single and miserable. They are waiting on a black prince to sweep them off their feet and live happily ever after. By all means, if you have the patience…wait. But if you are impatient, and you just want a great companion then you can find happiness with any race.
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