Life, Love & Sinn: Turning The Housewife To A Hoe And Dealing With Small Things

Unleashing The Nasty Wife

Q: How are [you] Sinnamon? I love to watch porn; yours especially, and my wife doesn’t know I watch it. I’m disappointed a lot of times because I want what I see on the internet; I want all the nasty slobbering, anal, cum swallowing, skeeting all on her face and her wanting it, asking for it, begging for it. She’s a big girl, how do I get what I see in the porn movies or am I living in a fantasy world? I want my wife to crave sucking this dick, just pulling it out at anytime and getting hella nasty with it, maybe I watch to much porn and that’s unrealistic.

– Courtney

[Editor’s note: This email was edited for spelling and grammatical errors for easier reading.]

A: Hello Courtney,

Thank you so much for your email. Often I hear from fans that want what they see on screen in porn videos in real life with their partners, and I think its extremely important that I address this issue. I want you to remember that porn actors are paid for their performances and often resemble sexual gymnasts in athletic positions and situations. Much like you may not likely have the same sort of endowment or stamina as a Shane Diesel or Manuel Ferrara, its important to remember that your wife is not a porn star either. It is possible to achieve the sort of fantasies with your wife that you are interested in experimenting with, but you have to use a bit more finesse with your wife than what you see portrayed on film.

First, I believe it is important that you discuss with your wife your enjoyment of porn. You don’t want to scare her off with the most hardcore thing in your hidden stash, but instead have a conversation with her about not only the fact that you like watching porn, but the type of things you like watching and why you enjoy them. I would highly recommend taking your wife to a woman friendly sex shop that offers not only porn, but lingerie and sex toys so the two of you can shop together. Find out what HER interests are outside of your normal routine and you might find a few things about her you never knew.

Woman are often open to trying new things with a partner they feel is someone they can trust will still respect them the next day. It is very important that you express your desire sweetly, and not make ultimatums or compare her or her sexual performance to the ladies on screen. Instead, try discussing what she likes, what she’d like to try, and then introduce a few ideas of your own. Don’t throw everything out there at once… but do give her a few different ideas and let her pick and chose what to try out first and when.

If you have children at home, it is important to remember that your wife likely has her hands full and may not be in “the mood” after a day or work, children, homework, et al. Planning date nights that include a little sexy shopping for later, sending a surprise bouquet to her job with a naughty note or sending a dirty text message might be just what you need to get things started. Remember to pick your battles wisely. Just because she says “no” to something today doesn’t mean she will always resist… but pushing the issue when she isn’t ready will certainly get you shut down forever.

Try to find sex positive couples classes or workshops at a local sex shop like Good Vibrations or the Hustler Store will certainly help her to understand that your desires are outlandishly “kinky,” but something others enjoy as well. Most importantly, reassure your wife that you love her and because you enjoy having sex with her, you merely want to try out some things that you feel would only enhance the relationship.

Good luck!

Better Sex With A Not So Well Endowed Man

Q: Hello, I was at the ATL [Punany Poets] show. I wanted to [know] how to have better sex with a good guy who is probably not as well endowed. Quick sex history; we met in July, I thought he is really sweet and cool so I decided to have sex with him and it was my 1st time. He was small but I was ok with that. I just want to know what we can do to help us enjoy it better. The 1st time we [had sex] it was missionary, then I changed it to doggy style. He pushed my legs together in doggy style position, but he kept slipping out and making me queef. How do I get him not to slip out? Now on missionary he likes to take long strokes like he is 10 inches but he is not so he comes all the way out. How we can improve on that? You could list other things I could to do to be more intimate; better at turning him on. I really not good at the part [because] I am still learning.

Thanks,

Nat

A: Hi Nat!

In a world where every man wishes he were bigger, stronger and faster; the reality is that the average man’s penis 5 to 6 inches erect. This means that unless your first will also be your last, you will likely come across a few men in your sexual exploration that come up “short.” This doesn’t mean you have to enjoy sex any less with your partner, you just have to be a bit more creative. There are some basic variations of common sex positions that will help him stay “put” and also help maximize your pleasure as well.

Missionary – While the natural reflex in missionary is to wrap your legs around your partner’s waist, with a smaller penis, you will want to bend your knees towards your chest and tilt your pelvis towards the mattress while keeping your head elevated on pillows. When you do this, your vaginal canal will shorten and you will feel pressure when he enters you.

Doggie – Your partner was very close at wanting your legs closed in this position, but you have to make sure his are opened wider. Bring your head and shoulders flat on the bed to help you feel “tighter” while he enters you.

A variation of this position is for you to lie flat on the bed, (or sofa,) face down with your legs closed. Your partner should straddle you vertically on his knees. You can spread your legs, (or butt cheeks,) slightly so that he can enter you. You will certainly get a tighter “fit” in this position and he won’t be able to pull out so much.

Woman Sitting Upright – In this position, you would sit on the edge or the bed, (or sofa, countertop etc.,) and your partner would kneel or stand in front of you while he enters your vagina. In this position, his entry will be partly upright, allowing him to hit the “back” wall of your vagina easier.

As for his attempts at long strokes that cause him to slip out too much; your best bet is to bring up the conversation in a non-sexual situation so it does not come across as a critique of his performance. The last thing you want is sudden performance anxiety erectile dysfunction when you need him to perform at his best. By picking a non-sexual moment to express what you enjoyed the most about your last sexual escapade, you are 1) stroking his ego, 2) turning him on for the next encounter and 3) allowing yourself an opportunity to express what you’d like to try next time or what you’d prefer he did or didn’t do when you have sex. Try introducing your desires by asking for deeper penetration or by describing the type of strokes you would prefer rather than saying, ‘I didn’t like that.” Keep the conversation positive so he will be more receptive to your wants and needs.

The best thing you can do in terms of turning him on are learning more about your own body. Masturbate frequently and explore your own body so you can discover what you like and what turns you on, so you can help guide him to those places and achieve better orgasms. A great lover wants to please his partner, and there is nothing like a man’s ego after his partner has orgasmed at his hands and touch. Try mutual masturbation and lots of passionate kissing to get warmed up. Remember, every man is different, so be sure ask him to show you how he enjoys having oral sex performed so you can learn to please him specifically. Most importantly, learn to please yourself in the event of a less than spectacular sexual romp.

Don’t forget sex doesn’t have to end in the event your partner orgasms before you. Keep a vibrator, dildo or other sex toy in a nearby bedside drawer and ask him to use it on you in the event he finishes before you so you can still reach your peak.

Enjoy!

You can email Sinnamon Love your questions to AskSinnamon@gmail.com