The Tens: The 10 Outrageous Untold Stories From SXSW 2011

Since SXSW wrapped up a week ago, all we’ve seen and heard are the numerous interviews and videos that have flooded the internets dealing with pretty much the same old thing — music. But, for those who didn’t attend, SXSW is also filled with straight craziness for the four days the music festival is in effect. Most of these stories from behind the scenes you will never hear…until now. We’ve rounded up some of our industry friends and colleagues to tell us some of their SMH worthy experiences while down in Austin, TX. We’ve got stories from the likes of Devi Dev, Shake, Meka, DJ Booth, ILuvLola, Donwil from Tanya Morgan and Andreas Hale ranging from planes catching on fire and bicycle accidents to river masturbation and a grand finale you probably have to see to believe.

1) “Psycho Cyclers” By @TheEvanAlvarez

2) “Powder To The People!” By @MekDot

“During my stay at SXSW, I got to witness artists i had always wanted to see perform live, and each one successfully proved that no amount of video footage will ever quite capture the raw energy of the live show. However, the most memorable act for me was Brooklyn’s Troy Ave‘s set during the OnSmash showcase Thursday night. Donning a bulletproof vest, gaudy chain and a bottle of Grey Goose, “Harry Powder” proudly proclaimed to the audience, “All I do is sell grams!” before launching into a medley of coke-fueled raps. He pulled two random women on stage to “provide” backup dancing and lead the audience into a frenzied chant of “powder to the people!” while holding one fist up as if they were members of the narcotics blank panthers, finishing with one of the spectators to grab Troy’s microphone and ask him, “Can I have some cocaine?” It was ignorant brilliance, and i have to see this again.”

3) “Breaking Up (A Fight) Is Hard To Do” By @MekDot & @DJBooth

“So in between the madness of our very first 2DBz x DJBoooth x SXSW showcase (which included a broken turntable, the venue outlawing people with backpacks from coming in because people kept getting drunk and stealing bottles from the bar and Freeway nearly falling on me trying to get down from a too-shaky speaker during his performance0, a fight broke out (on stage, and in the middle of Reks’ own performance) between headliners Schoolboy Q, Kendrick Lamar, Jay Rock, the entire TDE camp and one short, stocky manager of the venue. It all started when said manager – after trying to physically stop Schoolboy Q from lighting one up in the ironically titled “green room” – got mollywhopped for his troubles, leaving myself and Nile “LowKey” Ivey of UHTN fame to try to stop a brawl between 10 people. Getting into a fight with a bunch of street dudes is one thing, trying to break up a fight is an entirely different beast.” (@MekDot)

2nd Opinion

“On Friday afternoon, DJBooth.net, 2DopeBoyz.com and Last Rights came together to host The Rising: Austin, TX showcase.  Amongst the headliners were west coast upstarts Kendrick Lamar, Schoolboy Q and Jay Rock of TDE’s Black Hippy.  After all three artists filed into the Dizzy Rooster off 6th Street, the venue where the showcase was being held, the emcees and their camp waited patiently in the back of the venue until their set time arrived.  Minutes after REKS and Statik Selektah took the stage, the last act before the west coast crew was to take the stage, a security guard who had just ended his shift approached the crew, asking them to leave the back area where they were standing and to put away any weed or weed smoking accompaniments.  This was followed by a few courtesy “F**k You’s” and “Ima Kill You’s.”  You know, the usual.  For legal reasons I’ll skip ahead five minutes or so and the next thing you know Jay Rock is throwing punches, drinks are being spilled, REKS has stopped rapping, and Meka (of 2DopeBoyz) and I are in the middle of an all-out brawl on the left side of the stage.  The tussle made its way off the stage, briefly through the crowded venue, and out and into the open of 6th street where several police offers were waiting.  Sadly, the crowd didn’t get to see Black Hippy perform, but were treated to one helluva show.”  (@DJBooth)

4) “Attacked By A Karate Crackhead” By @Donwil

“3am: After the “Respect The West” show ended I was determined to make it to the Kanye West Vevo show. My boy had left badges for me at the front but being that I was almost 2 hours late, security were being assholes and giving me the run around. While waiting on my contact to come get me, a few friends and I walked over to the other side of the power plant to see if we’d have better luck there. The scene looked like the Mexico-Cali border: Rocky terrain, mile long fence topped with sharp and jagged barbed wire and hopeful faces looking over at the other side. I noticed a tall, lean Hispanic girl wearing a very tight red halter dress. She paced up and down the long stretch a few times, judging the distance and scaling the fence with her eyes. Just as my friends and I starting clowning around about her and how she would never make it, I see her start to climb. Next thing I know she had made it to the top of the fence in 6 inch heels, successfully placed her body over the barbed wire with out touching it, shimmied down a utility pole, ran through the huge security infested lot and then broke into Kanye’s dressing room/trailer… walking to the back room and turning off the light. YES…. I witnessed all of it.”

7) “The Greatest House Party Since Kid N Play” By @ILuvLola

“It’s the week after SXSW and there are a few things I still can’t wrap my head around. I won’t talk about everything but I really have to shed a little light on the ILLMORE MANSION. I’m capitalizing it because it was THAT good.

8 ) “(Almost) Up In Smoke” By @LowKeyUHTN

“Yours truly was hung the FUCK over from the night before on 6^th street. Matter fact, I didn’t even go to sleep- I was wired. But that’s beside the point. The driver scooped me from the Days Inn on Highway 35 and of course I was late, but what else is new. Made my way through security, with my shades on of course because my eyes were bloodshot red, but then again, a majority of my flight looked drunk and hungover so I was right at home.

I board my flight safe and sound, still with my shades on because I’m just retarded lol. I sit next to this cougar from Atlanta who just got back from God knows where. My ass wasn’t paying attention because I was to busy telling Twitter I’m not wearing a seatbelt and not turning my phone off because let’s face it, that’s what REAL NIGGAS do on Saturday mornings flying back to Atlanta. You know?

And while we’re on the subject of Atlanta, Gorilla Zoe was sitting two rows in front of me. I peeped him at our gate, but I just KNEW I was tripping. ‘Nah, that’s not Gorilla Zoe looking at me from behind that phone booth is it? Why would he travel without the rest of the Boyz In Tha Hood?’ Whatever, it was him.

So, the cougar next to me starting inquiring about my whereabouts and everything in between. You know those conversations you have when you’re sitting next to someone on the plane and there’s an obvious age gap? The older person is so curious as to why we Twitter, Facebook, Text, commit adultery and all other type of fun shit. And the younger person treats the elder like a fossil asking dumb questions like ‘So you were there when Abe Lincoln was shot? Did you run or stay in look to see if he was dead?’ Usual shit.

We back out from the gate and made our way to the runway. By this time, I’ve put my phone down because the Cougar has me engaged in this cool conversation. If I looked like Harrison Ford, I would’ve piped in the bathroom: TRUE STORY. So we’re strolling along the runway and I smell this scent….a burning scent. But im like….nah, I’m tripping. The night before I smelled so many different scents, I just assumed it was still in my clothes. YES I had the same attire on from the night before, SO THE FUCK WHAT!!!

But wait, I still smell that burning scent. And then we stop. But it was the stop before we make that turn on the final stretch to take off. But wait, we’re not moving. Something’s up. And then it happened. “Ladies and gentlemen,” the nervous pilot started. “Due to some technical difficulties….” After that was said, I knew that burning smell was what I thought it was. FAM!!! Our right engine caught on fire. Like YO!!! God was trying to take me out! What in the hell? Was it because I didn’t take my belt off at the Security check point? Was it because I didn’t turn my phone off? I swear to God I didn’t mean to steal those Ray Ban looking shades from that party on Thursday. Whatever the case may be, Big Homey upstairs sent the ILL warning shot!

Next thing you know, our plane is being watered down by the Austin Fire Department and my cougar friend was just acting all calm about the entire situation. Well, I guess I would also if I were her age. Hell, it’s almost her time to go anyway. Ok, that was rude. Anyway, we get off the plane where they have no information to give us except that they’re going to ATTEMPT to fix the SAME plane that was on its Back Draft tip before take off. Nah, B…..you’re not putting me back on that plane anytime soon. So, I hit the front desk, played the devastated roll and had them book me another flight on Monday morning. So, here we are……Wed night and I’m still feeling the effects of the drinking from Thursday to Sunday. God thought he was slick I know that much. Oh, and I’m still not taking my belt off when I hit security the next time I fly. Ok, bye.”

9) The Black Lips “Crotch Finale” By @AndreasHale

After an overdose of hip hop, I decided to head to the Lustre Pearl to check out Little Dragon perform at midnight. When I arrived at the venue, The Black Lips happened to still be on stage. Since I was not familiar with the music, I opted to hang around and check out their set. Mind you, there are very few black people at this show. I’m standing next to a velvet rope and drunk people couldn’t stop asking me questions like ‘Is it okay if I sit here?’ and ‘Where’s the bathroom?’ Do I look like a gotdamn security guard? One chick in particular thought I was messing with her. ‘So…you’re telling me you don’t work here?’ she kept asking. Why can’t I just hang out and see a band perform without being looked at as top flight security? But I digress…

The music wasn’t bad, but what happened at the end has scarred my poor eyes for life. Towards the end of their set, the lead singer stated that it was time for the grand finale. As the foursome rolled through the their final song, the two guitarists turn towards each other and kissed (tongue and all). That was weird, but not too shocking. Then one of the guitarists laid on his back with his legs spread eagle while the other began to faux sex him up with his guitar. ‘Hmmmm…pretty strange,’ I thought, but it wasn’t enough to deter my eyes. But then, ‘it’ happened. The one guitarist proceeded to drop his pants, pull his cock out and play his guitar with it. I couldn’t believe my eyes as he went ham on this poor guitar like a 15-year-old virgin sexing up Rihanna. The girls behind me gasped and had this mortified look in their eyes while another girl next to me covered the eyes of her barely 21 friend. Some people were still cheering while those of us who arrived to see Little Dragon got way more than our poor eyes could bargain for. It was surreal and I had never seen anything like it. All I could think about was that poor impregnated guitar.

“The SXSW River Stroker” By @DeviDev

“5am: I was walking back from IHop to the hotel I was staying in with 3 friends. As we walked down the road, we noticed a man standing straight up rocking/swaying a bit while over looking the river stream that ran through Austin. Weird. Being nosy, we walked over to then notice the man was wearing a wife beater, red beanie, and NO BOTTOMS! We all screamed. The horror didn’t stop him. He had one of the illest rhythms — think hop scotch minus the jumping (and excuse me but biggest ****’s we’d ever seen) — and even though we yelled and pointed he kept right on going until he finished giving us a look of annoyance for interrupting him.”